Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out: 3 years ago

It is never my intention to make myself sad on purpose (although it might appear that way on my blog from time to time). I am just a highly sensitive person (check out this article from Marie Claire. That is me to a tee!!!!) and things just stick with me longer than they might the average person. Some things seem silly and ridiculous to dwell over, but I still do, and other things are major life changes, so it's understandable why I think about them often. I think about my nephews EVERY SINGLE DAY! Not a day goes by that I don't think about them, their story, the days leading up to their birth and sadly their passing. When my sister first went into labor on April 28, 2008 I started a Caringbridge site for family and friends to follow their journey. It started out with so much hope, so much optimism, and slowly, day by day, that faded. 3 years ago today, here are my posts...

Sunday, May 4, 2008 11:29 AM, EDT
Not too much new to report this morning, and HOPEFULLY that will be the case for the next SEVERAL weeks! :) I did call Amy on our way home from church just to check in, and she was trying to get some rest, but she told me that last night her contractions started up again, so they had to give her her meds earlier then scheduled, but it helped!!! And she said they had started up today as well, but of course she is being closely monitored, and so far, so good!
If anything changes over the course of the day I'll post an update, if not, then I'll be visiting her tomorrow on my lunch break and I'm sure I'll some sort of news then.

Sunday, May 4, 2008 11:32 AM, CDT
Oh and please, please, please keep those prayers coming!!! If you belong to a church, adding Amy, Mike and the boys to your church prayer list would be AWESOME!!!! : )

Sunday, May 4, 2008 6:54 PM, EDT
Hi Everyone! I have a posting from Amy (she spoke and Mike typed it up and e-mailed it to me to post on here) Keep the prayers coming! : )
From Amy..
First of all, I want to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, cards, gifts etc over the last week. These meaningful acts have helped the week go by a little faster I also want to thank my sister for putting up this web site to keep everyone updated. Every hour brings with it ups and downs and you really can't prepare for the emotional roller coaster. We go one hour with a very few contractions and become more hopeful and literally the next hour can bring more contractions and a lot of worries. Since we arrived in the hospital last week I have been happily medicated that has it own side effects. I can’t get out of bed with out help and my vision is blurry. But I will continue to do what ever I need to, to keep the babies in side as long as possible. On Thursday they will be giving the babies a shot of steroids to strengthen their lungs just in case. But of course the longer they stay in the better. Thank You again for everything, we continue to need a lot of prayers for our boys.
With Love,

Sunday, May 4, 2008 11:30 PM, EDT
Storming Heaven for prayers...
Mike just text me (because he couldn't talk and thankfully it woke me up when my phone beeped!)...
Amy started bleeding heavy again and having contractions!! We need prayers and LOTS of them. They can't up her meds anymore, so hopefully the medicine she is currently on will do it's job, STOP the bleeding and the contractions! The babies MUST hang in there for another 6 days in order to give them any sort of fighting chance at surviving! As info becomes available to me (when Mike has a few seconds to talk or text), I will post it on there!
PLEASE God hear our prayers! We need these boys in our lives! They are already a part of our family. Please God!

Little did I know that in less then 48 hours of this post 3 years ago my nephews would be born, Mateo and Ian would be called Home and Ian's fight for life would begin (he didn't pass until the next day). My gosh I miss them! What I wouldn't give to turn back time and have Amy carry them full term, and instead of this being SUCH a sad time for our family, we would be celebrating a fun 3rd birthday for 3 little boys! UGH!!! My heart hurts! My heart hurts a million times over my sister and her husband. I can't imagine losing one child, nonetheless all 3 at once :(
A beautiful drawing a friend gave my sister after the boys passing


Shell said...

How heartbreaking. Sending prayers for your family.

My New Normal said...

This post breaks my heart. I lost my son at 36 weeks last August and I'm still reeling from it.

I can't imagine how it was for your family to lose three babies all at once. Stillbirth is devastating. I can only hope that your sister and the rest of the family has found some peace and comfort in the past three years.

trooppetrie said...

when we lost our baby on november 5, 1998, someone gave
me a card with this poem and it has meant more to me that anything. so i
thought i would share it. the scripture on the front is Job 1:21 and inside
it says:
" I was thinking abut what's ahead for the baby. Can you imagine-it will be
taking its first steps on the streets of Heaven! Hannah was a mother who
certainly knows how special a little baby is. Perhaps she'll be the one who
will let it hold her finger as it takes those first staggering steps; and
maybe she will be the one to coax it into taking it first steps alone!
Perhaps Dorcas will see to it that its hems get let out, and that the
buttons are sewn on that growing child. And Joshua! Just think what it would
be like for a child to climb into his lap and hear-first hand- about the
battle of jericho!..
Maybe Petrer will take it fishing someday! It will never fall out of tree or
breaks it's leg, for there is no pain or tears there! It won;t be afraid of
the dark for there is no darkness there. The King of Kings, the Lord of
Lords, he is the very one who said, "let the little children come to me." I
expect there will be many a time when he himself will take that baby in his
lap and let it know a love that makes all other loves seem puny by contrast.
I wouldn't be surprised if the Heavenly Father keeps a few lollipops handy
for just such occasions....
And one day, you will be greeted with a " Hi Dad and Mom! I've got some of
the neatest things to show you; and some really fantastic people i can't
wait for you to meet."


Courtney B said...

Oh this is so heartbreaking :( I can't even imagine....
I do believe that the those babies spirits were sweet enough to only need their bodies for a second until returning home to the Lord. And obviously the Lord knew your sister and brother in law were strong enough to handle this. Not that it makes this any easier, but there is comfort in the fact that God loves us and He is not cruel. I believe that you all will see those sweet boys again!!

Jackie said...

This breaks my heart. Prayers to your entire family.

What a beautiful drawing of the boys.

Diane said...

My heart goes out to you and them. That drawing is such a beautiful tribute.

Mrs Montoya said...

Prayers for your family and those sweet 3 year old boys. I know they're being taken care of, but my heart breaks for those of you here.

Kim said...

Oh my goodness, neither can I imagine the pain of this! The emptiness of carrying a child and then losing him is devastated. I cannot imagine what your sister has had to face!

Lindsay said...

This must have been so hard. Something we will never understand and is completely out of our hands. Prayers sent your way for continued strength during these anniversaries :(

Annie said...

This post breaks my heart. To go through such pain, x 3. I am praying for you and your sister as you remember these three precious angels.