Thursday, June 3, 2010

My birthday



*AWFUL cell phone quality pics of my b-day gifts from my wonderful co-workers!* :)

Yesterday, June 2, 2010 I turned 29 years old. Grant it, there is nothing momentous about this birthday, no huge milestone (like 16, 18, 21 or 30) but it really was an amazing day! Did I have to work? Of course! But as I was sitting at my desk it dawned on me that I had been given a gift that I hadn't ever been given in the past 28 birthdays, and guess what...it didn't cost a penny. What is that gift you ask? Peace of mind. My life has been a series of struggles. Grant it, it's not been anything huge, to some peoples struggles, mine would seem like a drop in the bucket. But life certainly hasn't been a "cake walk" either. And it dawned on me yesterday that for the first time I am truly at peace with where my life is. Could I be a better mother? Of course! Could I be a better wife? ABSOLUTELY! Could I be more active in my church? Sure! Could I make more money? Probably! (although that's up for debate being as though I don't have a college degree! :) But money isn't important in the grand scheme of things!) Could I own my own house? Certainly! (well, again that's up for debate too unless we save some money and work on getting our credit scores up! ;) But you get the picture...there is a lot of things that could be better, but when I lay my head down at night I am peaceful.

When I was little I always envisioned that I'd be married and have at least one child by the time I was 25. As I graduated from high school, and never really had a steady boyfriend or relationship, that "goal" seemed further and further attainable. Which I was totally fine with! (or so I tried to convince myself that I was). The early part of my 20's, from what I remember of it (SO sad, but true!), was spent just being, barely scrapping by. I was single, I was young, I was jobless (at points), I didn't attend church, I was not held accountable for anything, I stole from my mom, I made REALLY bad decisions, made some more REALLY bad decisions and was just very unstable (not mentally, just in general :). At the time, it was "fun" to me, I was just enjoying my 20's. Looking back, I literally cringe at the way I was living. I hope and pray and pray some more that my children never experience/experiment the things I did. At the time you think it's just what your supposed to do at that age, or at least I did. But I would give almost anything to have those years back and given the opportunity to make better decisions!!! Then 7 days after my 24th birthday I found out I was pregnant. Needless to say unplanned. Afterall, who gets pregnant on purpose after only being with someone for 3 months!?!? Not anyone with an ounce of sense! It was that day, June 9, 2005 that I realized it was time to grow up!!

Fast forward almost 5 years to June 2, 2010...my goodness how my life has changed. I lay my head down at night in a bed that's mine, in a townhouse I (we) pay the rent on, with a "decent" relationship with God (I'm working on making better by attending church regularly and getting involved), with a hubby who I love and trust, with two beautiful children who I adore more then life itself, with a job that I take pride in, and life, all in all, lived well!

Not too bad for 29, if I do say so myself :)

Oh, and a funny birthday story just for my own "journaling" purposes...my husband called me yesterday (my birthday) and told me that I had to get our son from school because he was working late. I angrily said, "Okay!" and hung up the phone thinking to myself, "He's going to work late on my birthday!?!?" and then it quickly dawned on me, if i know my husband, which I do, he's fibbing and just saying that so he can go home and finish my cake or something! :) So I go pick our son up from school (remember, he's 4), and as I walk on the playground to get him he says, "Mommy, did I miss your birthday?"

I said, "No buds! All day is mommy's birthday."

He said, "No, did I miss your party?"

I said, "Baby, Mommy's not having a party."

He said, "Well daddy told me this morning that Nonna, Poppy and Buscia were coming over for a party."

I stopped, smiled and said, "I don't think you were supposed to tell mommy that!"

He got this huge grin on his face and said, "Ohhhhh!"

I said, "But that's okay baby. We won't tell daddy you accidentally told me."

He looked at me and so seriously said, "But mommy, I can't lie to daddy!"

GOOD POINT! Now let's hope that sweet baby boy keeps that honest spirit forever!!!!! :) Needless to say I acted COMPLETELY surprised when I walked in the door and my hubby had a cake, dinner and some of my family there. He ended up finding out the truth from Honest Abe himself! ;) (yes, the same child who will just come out and tell us when he is put in timeout at school. We'd have NO way of knowing otherwise because it's never for anything serious, but it will be the FIRST thing out of his mouth when we pick him up!! :) Nothing like raising a child who is SOOO SOOOO honest! Even though I knew about the surprise before it happened it will still a very special day. And HOPEFULLY lesson learned for my hubby...you don't tell a four year old about a surprise party, EVER!!!! :)

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