I like to think I'm a "good" person (everyone has their own definition of that word). By good I mean...kind to others, strives to be her best, loves God, is a caring wife, loving mother, etc. but of course I HAVE MY MOMENTS! Those moments where I would probably shrivel up in a ball and die if anyone had actually seen me do what I just did. Whether it comes to getting angry with my husband, overreacting towards something my son does, etc. You know, those "not so proud moments" (we all have them, RIGHT!?!?! :) But again, for the most part I think I'm a good person. Our pastor has mentioned, on a few occassions, how when you go about your daily life you should envision God walking with you. Would you be saying and doing the things you are if God were standing right there??? I'm going to come out and say I know I wouldn't do and say half the things I do and say if God were right next to me.
We are in a "Why?" series at church...why do people suffer? why do we need to attend a local church? why do we need to participate in the Lords Supper? etc. Our church only does the Lords Supper on occassion (no more then once a month) and this past Sunday was that day. As we were waiting for the cracker and juice to be handed to everyone it was our time to "reflect" to ask for forgiveness for our sins, to start fresh and "clean". As I was sitting there it hit me like a ton of bricks. Now is my time to "start over." I need to work on being a better Christian, a better person. I started teaching Sunday school again that day and realized that I needed to be a better representation of a Christian. Again, I'm "okay" outside of work, but really, in the office environment I should be ashamed of my words and actions. I cuss, I gossip, I talk poorly about people, etc. I know we all do it, but really I don't want to be that kind of person anymore. So I came in the office yesterday with a new attitude and I must say it's really helped my outlook in general (even on a Monday! :) Do I get frustrated? OF COURSE! Do I get annoyed? Absolutely! Do I go to type an IM to my friend about someone that just annoyed the heck out of me? YES! But instead of sending it, I take a deep breath and delete it. I know I won't be perfect and I'll fail, but I'd like for that to happen less and less each day. I want to be proud of my words and actions at work, and certainly, as it stood, I was not. I'm really hoping to have turned over a new leaf! :)