I'd like to take a few minutes and say thank you to all of my readers! It means the world to me that people take time out of their very busy days to read my ramblings :) and even take more time to comment. Your kind words mean SO much! I started this blog with little expectations of what would come from it, but it's been a great outlet to write, have fun and get awesome feedback from very sweet people!
THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!
Happy Thursday!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Wee Bit Wednesday
I don't know, if after my last post, that you need to know a "wee" more about me :) but here it goes..
{one} grilled or fried?
It depends. Typically grilled
{two} if you could change one thing about where you live, without worrying about money, what would you change?
I would move! :) We rent a townhouse, and I'd love to own a home. A small, quaint little house, with a cute backyard and front porch. Nothing too fancy, that's not my style :)
{three} what is your favorite time of day?
The evenings, after work. It's our "family time" and I love it (as long as the kids aren't grumpy! :)
{four} what’s your favorite cereal?
Sadly the sweet kinds...Capt'N Crunch, Lucky Charms, etc. I'm a kid, what can I say? ;) (and no, my children don't eat it! :)
{five} do you open your mouth when you put mascara on?
Although I usually don't wear it, when I do, yes! :)
{six} if you could make any fictional character come to life, which would it be?
The characters in Toy Story! I love that movie!
{seven} what are your favorite pizza toppings?
I'm boring...pepperoni
{eight} are you a heavy or a light sleeper?
EXTREMELY light! I think motherhood has a lot to do with that, but even before I became a mom I was a light sleeper.
{nine} what is your favorite board game?
Scene It
{ten} what star/celebrity do most people say you look like?
I DON'T see it, but I've always heard Mila Kunis (perhaps a much heavier version! :) and Julianna Marguiles (the curly headed actress from ER)
Go visit and link up! :)
Getting Real
So I think it would be fair to assume that most of you know the ever-so-sweet Kelly (well, I can only assume she's sweet. I don't know her in real life, but she seems like one of those people that everyone loves! :) And her daughter is too cute for words! :) But anywho, back to my point...Kelly over at Kelly's Korner posted today about her friend Amy who is "hosting" a link up and the soul purpose is to encourage one another with stories of hope, faith, and ultimately putting your trust in God that everything will be okay. People struggle with infertility, hopes of finding a hubby, ill children, ill spouses, financial difficulites, marriage difficulites, and anything else you can possibly imagine. At first glance I thought, "Hmmm, this really doesn't sound like something I should link up to" and then it dawned on me, my marriage (and it's survival) is a true testament to God's power. This is going to be lengthy, so feel free to not read this post today. My feelings won't be hurt, I promise! :) And maybe, just maybe someone who is struggling with something similar to me, can find hope in my/our story!
Manny and I had know of each other for a year or so starting back in 2004, we shared mutual friends. In November 2004 I ran in to him at a party. We spent some time catching up and drinking, and drinking some more. What were we catching up on? He had just gotten out of prison. He had spent a huge chunk of time there (not sure of the exact length) for drug charges. My heart hurt as I listened to his story (as my heart has always had a soft spot for those battling with addiction). He clearly needed a friend, and I was there to listen. The party ended, we said our goodbyes, and that was that. Through the grapevine I had heard that Manny was interested in me, and most people might think, "Of course she wouldn't go for the guy that just got out of PRISON!" (not your local detention center folks. I mean prison!) I wasn't raised that way. I was a "good girl" (who got in to partying pretty hard, but a good girl at heart!) But my heart was so longing for a boyfriend (sad to admit, as this point in my life, at the age of 23, I had never had a real boyfriend). So instead of being turned off by this bad boy, I was just so excited that someone was even interested in me!!!! (Sooo sad! As I type this now, looking back, that makes me sad that I lacked such self worth!) But back to my point...Manny and I started dating in March 2005. Our entire relationship was about drinking, doing drugs and partying! We both had jobs, but when we weren't working we were doing those 3 things. We said, "I love you" after a few weeks. We just enjoyed the partying lifestyle and lived our evenings drunk and/or and our days feeling like crap and hungover! My family had NO idea what my life had become! Or perhaps they did, but were in denial. Either way, I had become "that person" that I thought I NEVER would become, but I was "in love" and that's all that mattered!
Then came June 9, 2005 when I took the test, and sure enough...I WAS PREGNANT!!!! I called Manny at work, and said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm pregnant. You don't have to stick around. You can turn around and leave and never look back, but I'm keeping the baby. I can't get rid of it." He said he wasn't going to leave, and we would get a place together and raise this baby. Great? Um, NO!
The very second I found out I was pregnant the drugs/alcohol/cigarettes/EVERYTHING, stopped! But for Manny, it did not. Grant it, the street drugs stopped, but the prescription pills did not. It wasn't anything that stopped him from functioning (he worked every day, provided for us, helped prepare for the baby, etc.) but still, he was drug addict and we had a baby on the way! January 31, 2006 comes and Manuel enters the world. Our firstborn, our son. I thought for sure this would change Manny. But again, I was wrong. That November, we started going to church, and basically just went through the motions of that. We went to make us look good, I suppose, but still, our homelife was less then perfect and Manny was still a drug addict!
Years continue to pass, we continued to go to church (Manny even taught Sunday school!!!) and finally Manny decides that the drugs will stop. YAY! I don't consider myself a nieve person AT ALL and I TRULY thought he had stopped. Until the day I checked my bank account on line (which I seldom ever did) and saw a random check written to my husband's brother (who is also a drug addict), and that's when it was all over. Manny was still using drugs (street and prescription), HAD NEVER STOPPED! He cried and cried, begged for forgiveness and I was heart broken! My family advised me to leave, but I just couldn't. In April 2009 Manny checked himself in to rehab. I think this is the answer to our prayers. But again, I was wrong. Manny came out after 2 weeks (CLEARLY not long enough, but we couldn't afford for him to be out any longer!) and his counselor was SOOO hopeful for him! Then came May 11, 2009 Manny relapsed and lost his job (because the job that worked with him when he went to rehab wasn't going to give him another chance.) With nothing else to lose (except for his wife and son) Manny went back to rehab. May 15, 2009 while Manny was away, my dad died unexpectedly. Here I was at home, having to lie to my friends (only my family knew Manny was in rehab), I just lost my dad, I had to lie to my 3 year old that Daddy was at work :( and life really couldn't get much worst. UNTIL May 23, 2009 came and I found out I was pregnant. Husbands in rehab and jobless, 3 year old at home clueless as to what is going on, and NOW I'M PREGNANT!!!WHAT?!?!? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY CHILD? WHO BRINGS A CHILD IN TO THIS!?!?!?! UGH!!!!!! But guess what, this was in God's plan. I can say that now. GOD'S PLAN!!!!
Manny gets out of rehab, turns his life around, gives himself to God again (this time with all of his heart and soul and being!), stops EVERYTHING (even smoking and drinking which never were an "issue" for him) admits to our pastor EVERYTHING that had happened, openly asks for prayers from our church family for his addiction, etc. We welcomed Mia into our lives a short 8.5 months ago and I TRULY can not imagine our lives without her. What if I had given in to Satan and given up on my marriage? What if I had given in to Satan and given up on this child who I found out I was pregnat with at the most "unopportune" time? What if my husband had continued to choose the drugs over us? What if? What if? What if? We don't have to ever answer those questions because although life was HARD, SOO SOOO hard at times, God was there. He was ALWAYS there! And although I didn't always remember that in my darkest days, He was!
May 12, 2010 Manny celebrated a year free of drugs and alcohol. October 3, 2010 Manny celebrated a year free of cigarettes. March 30, 2011 we will be celebrating 5 years of marriage. That's A LOT in 5 years, right?? Yes, it is, but we got through it because we finally gave our lives to God fully and completely. Manny is now "that guy" that gets made fun at work for not going to Happy Hours or for talking about God openly. And that's okay by Manny! :) My children will never know Manny as a drug addict (or that is my prayer. That Manny is one of the few that over comes addiction FOREVER!)
This is the longest post EVER and I apologize, but hopefully if you took the time to read it then it spoke to your heart for one reason or another!
Manny and I had know of each other for a year or so starting back in 2004, we shared mutual friends. In November 2004 I ran in to him at a party. We spent some time catching up and drinking, and drinking some more. What were we catching up on? He had just gotten out of prison. He had spent a huge chunk of time there (not sure of the exact length) for drug charges. My heart hurt as I listened to his story (as my heart has always had a soft spot for those battling with addiction). He clearly needed a friend, and I was there to listen. The party ended, we said our goodbyes, and that was that. Through the grapevine I had heard that Manny was interested in me, and most people might think, "Of course she wouldn't go for the guy that just got out of PRISON!" (not your local detention center folks. I mean prison!) I wasn't raised that way. I was a "good girl" (who got in to partying pretty hard, but a good girl at heart!) But my heart was so longing for a boyfriend (sad to admit, as this point in my life, at the age of 23, I had never had a real boyfriend). So instead of being turned off by this bad boy, I was just so excited that someone was even interested in me!!!! (Sooo sad! As I type this now, looking back, that makes me sad that I lacked such self worth!) But back to my point...Manny and I started dating in March 2005. Our entire relationship was about drinking, doing drugs and partying! We both had jobs, but when we weren't working we were doing those 3 things. We said, "I love you" after a few weeks. We just enjoyed the partying lifestyle and lived our evenings drunk and/or and our days feeling like crap and hungover! My family had NO idea what my life had become! Or perhaps they did, but were in denial. Either way, I had become "that person" that I thought I NEVER would become, but I was "in love" and that's all that mattered!
Then came June 9, 2005 when I took the test, and sure enough...I WAS PREGNANT!!!! I called Manny at work, and said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm pregnant. You don't have to stick around. You can turn around and leave and never look back, but I'm keeping the baby. I can't get rid of it." He said he wasn't going to leave, and we would get a place together and raise this baby. Great? Um, NO!
The very second I found out I was pregnant the drugs/alcohol/cigarettes/EVERYTHING, stopped! But for Manny, it did not. Grant it, the street drugs stopped, but the prescription pills did not. It wasn't anything that stopped him from functioning (he worked every day, provided for us, helped prepare for the baby, etc.) but still, he was drug addict and we had a baby on the way! January 31, 2006 comes and Manuel enters the world. Our firstborn, our son. I thought for sure this would change Manny. But again, I was wrong. That November, we started going to church, and basically just went through the motions of that. We went to make us look good, I suppose, but still, our homelife was less then perfect and Manny was still a drug addict!
Years continue to pass, we continued to go to church (Manny even taught Sunday school!!!) and finally Manny decides that the drugs will stop. YAY! I don't consider myself a nieve person AT ALL and I TRULY thought he had stopped. Until the day I checked my bank account on line (which I seldom ever did) and saw a random check written to my husband's brother (who is also a drug addict), and that's when it was all over. Manny was still using drugs (street and prescription), HAD NEVER STOPPED! He cried and cried, begged for forgiveness and I was heart broken! My family advised me to leave, but I just couldn't. In April 2009 Manny checked himself in to rehab. I think this is the answer to our prayers. But again, I was wrong. Manny came out after 2 weeks (CLEARLY not long enough, but we couldn't afford for him to be out any longer!) and his counselor was SOOO hopeful for him! Then came May 11, 2009 Manny relapsed and lost his job (because the job that worked with him when he went to rehab wasn't going to give him another chance.) With nothing else to lose (except for his wife and son) Manny went back to rehab. May 15, 2009 while Manny was away, my dad died unexpectedly. Here I was at home, having to lie to my friends (only my family knew Manny was in rehab), I just lost my dad, I had to lie to my 3 year old that Daddy was at work :( and life really couldn't get much worst. UNTIL May 23, 2009 came and I found out I was pregnant. Husbands in rehab and jobless, 3 year old at home clueless as to what is going on, and NOW I'M PREGNANT!!!WHAT?!?!? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY CHILD? WHO BRINGS A CHILD IN TO THIS!?!?!?! UGH!!!!!! But guess what, this was in God's plan. I can say that now. GOD'S PLAN!!!!
Manny gets out of rehab, turns his life around, gives himself to God again (this time with all of his heart and soul and being!), stops EVERYTHING (even smoking and drinking which never were an "issue" for him) admits to our pastor EVERYTHING that had happened, openly asks for prayers from our church family for his addiction, etc. We welcomed Mia into our lives a short 8.5 months ago and I TRULY can not imagine our lives without her. What if I had given in to Satan and given up on my marriage? What if I had given in to Satan and given up on this child who I found out I was pregnat with at the most "unopportune" time? What if my husband had continued to choose the drugs over us? What if? What if? What if? We don't have to ever answer those questions because although life was HARD, SOO SOOO hard at times, God was there. He was ALWAYS there! And although I didn't always remember that in my darkest days, He was!
May 12, 2010 Manny celebrated a year free of drugs and alcohol. October 3, 2010 Manny celebrated a year free of cigarettes. March 30, 2011 we will be celebrating 5 years of marriage. That's A LOT in 5 years, right?? Yes, it is, but we got through it because we finally gave our lives to God fully and completely. Manny is now "that guy" that gets made fun at work for not going to Happy Hours or for talking about God openly. And that's okay by Manny! :) My children will never know Manny as a drug addict (or that is my prayer. That Manny is one of the few that over comes addiction FOREVER!)
This is the longest post EVER and I apologize, but hopefully if you took the time to read it then it spoke to your heart for one reason or another!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Life
So, I'm working from home today, and while Mia naps and Manuel watches some TV (I know, Worst Mother of The Year for letting my child watch TV! ;) I thought I'd write a blog post (hmm, shouldn't I be doing WORK!?!?!? Oh well, I digress :)
Life has been pretty crazy lately...asthma attacks, pink eye, kidney problems, croup, oh my! Manuel has always been "medically challenging" (by the time he was 18 months he had had a lumbar puncture, CT scans, x-rays, etc.) It was horrific to watch. But we made it through it all. By the time he was 2 1/2 years old, he had been hospitalized in the PICU for breathing problems. By the time he was 3 1/2 he been diagnosed with asthma, and had to be tested for cystic fibrosis. Although these "issues" seem mild compared to what some people have to go through, as a parent, it's tough to see your child suffer AT ALL, on ANY level!
When I found out I was pregnant with Mia I always told her that she needed to make sure she was "medically easy" child...NO issues! :) Apparently she didn't get the memo! :) Actually, she's been through more in her short (almost) 8 1/2 months of life, then Manuel had been through at this age. It appears that this is just the beginning as we figure out what her kidney issues are, and why her left kidney is significantly smaller then the right. Her labs came back normal on Friday, and at first read you might be thinking, "AWESOME!" but really it's not. We were hoping that her labs WOULD show something that would be an automatic explanation as to her kidney issue. Unfortunately since her labs showed nothing out of the ordinary, more invasive testing is her future. Again, nothing MAJOR, nothing that we can't handle, but still, nothing you ever want to see your child have to go through. Her nephrology team meets with the radiologist (who read her initial kidney u/s) on Friday to discuss the next step. Please pray that whatever the issue is, we can come up with a plan and move forward.
If you have a child who is completely healthy (minus the common cold or illness), thank God. And trust me, I thank God every day that it's "only" been what it has been with my children. It's never been anything terminal, and for that I am SOOOOO thankful!!!!
Thank you for listening to me babble :) Sometimes it's good just to write a ramble about life, and not about a photo challenge or link up! :)
Have a great day. Now I'm off to TRY and get actual work done....wish me luck! :)
And for good measure...
Life has been pretty crazy lately...asthma attacks, pink eye, kidney problems, croup, oh my! Manuel has always been "medically challenging" (by the time he was 18 months he had had a lumbar puncture, CT scans, x-rays, etc.) It was horrific to watch. But we made it through it all. By the time he was 2 1/2 years old, he had been hospitalized in the PICU for breathing problems. By the time he was 3 1/2 he been diagnosed with asthma, and had to be tested for cystic fibrosis. Although these "issues" seem mild compared to what some people have to go through, as a parent, it's tough to see your child suffer AT ALL, on ANY level!
When I found out I was pregnant with Mia I always told her that she needed to make sure she was "medically easy" child...NO issues! :) Apparently she didn't get the memo! :) Actually, she's been through more in her short (almost) 8 1/2 months of life, then Manuel had been through at this age. It appears that this is just the beginning as we figure out what her kidney issues are, and why her left kidney is significantly smaller then the right. Her labs came back normal on Friday, and at first read you might be thinking, "AWESOME!" but really it's not. We were hoping that her labs WOULD show something that would be an automatic explanation as to her kidney issue. Unfortunately since her labs showed nothing out of the ordinary, more invasive testing is her future. Again, nothing MAJOR, nothing that we can't handle, but still, nothing you ever want to see your child have to go through. Her nephrology team meets with the radiologist (who read her initial kidney u/s) on Friday to discuss the next step. Please pray that whatever the issue is, we can come up with a plan and move forward.
If you have a child who is completely healthy (minus the common cold or illness), thank God. And trust me, I thank God every day that it's "only" been what it has been with my children. It's never been anything terminal, and for that I am SOOOOO thankful!!!!
Thank you for listening to me babble :) Sometimes it's good just to write a ramble about life, and not about a photo challenge or link up! :)
Have a great day. Now I'm off to TRY and get actual work done....wish me luck! :)
And for good measure...
Monday, October 4, 2010
Mobile Monday
It's that time again...time to post a "not so good quality" cell phone pic, but WITHOUT the caption "Not so good cell phone pic" :)
Saturday night we went and saw MercyMe. I did NOT take my camera :( but I did get a few shots with my cell phone. Here is one of them...
My mother-in-law and grandmother (in-law, but that's weird to say! :) bought the tickets for my hubby and I. It was an AMAZING concert! Dare I say lifechanging. It was just so awesome to see so many people, singing, dancing, and most importantly praising God! I had said to my husband on the way there, "I have a feeling that this is going to be lifechanging." Little did I know that not only would it change our lives, but also change a sweet little girl, named Aima's life. Aima is a Compassion child that we now sponsor. Money is very tight in our household, but if we can always manage to find money for McD's Frappe's (hubby's favorite) or lunch out, or whatever the case may be, then we can afford $38/month for this little girl. I can't wait to send her a letter telling her all about us. If your heart leads you to, visit Compassion and sponsor a child.
Happy Monday! :)
Saturday night we went and saw MercyMe. I did NOT take my camera :( but I did get a few shots with my cell phone. Here is one of them...
Happy Monday! :)
Friday, October 1, 2010
30 days of truth (the final post :)
Well this is my final post of my "30 days". Although I didn't do ALL 30 days, I came pretty close. It was fun to answer random, truth provoking questions.
Day 28-What if you were pregnant right now? What would you do? Well, now wouldn't that be interesting!?!? UM NO!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Of course if hubby and I were prego, we would welcome the baby with open arms, but the timing wouldn't be great! We want to wait until both kids are in school if we have another.
Day 29-Something you hope to change about yourself? Why? There are two things I'd like to change...A) lose weight and B) become more comfortable. I want to lose weight, well, for obvious reasons! :) I'm proud of myself that I lost all of my "Mia weight" and some, but ideally I'd like to get down to my pre-Manuel weight. I have about 10 lbs to go, which is totally feasible BUT it's proving to be very hard. I CAN DO IT! :) And as far as "becoming more comfortable", I just need to stop being so self conscious. Why? because a 29 year old mother of two and wife should be comfortable in her own skin.
Day 30-A letter to yourself in which you tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself:
Dear Christina,
This is going to be hard for you to hear because you don't take compliments well AT ALL! You've always been self conscious but people love you. How many people have said, "You are so sweet!" "Your smile lights up a room and just makes me happy!" I wish you would realize how nice you are and how much people appreciate the GENUINE person you are :) You are a GREAT mother (although your patience level could use some work! ;) and a pretty good wife (although that could use some work too! ;) Remember, no matter what, you have a heart of gold. Stay strong, stay positive and continue to be your happy self! :)
Love,
Your Self ;)
Day 28-What if you were pregnant right now? What would you do? Well, now wouldn't that be interesting!?!? UM NO!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Of course if hubby and I were prego, we would welcome the baby with open arms, but the timing wouldn't be great! We want to wait until both kids are in school if we have another.
Day 29-Something you hope to change about yourself? Why? There are two things I'd like to change...A) lose weight and B) become more comfortable. I want to lose weight, well, for obvious reasons! :) I'm proud of myself that I lost all of my "Mia weight" and some, but ideally I'd like to get down to my pre-Manuel weight. I have about 10 lbs to go, which is totally feasible BUT it's proving to be very hard. I CAN DO IT! :) And as far as "becoming more comfortable", I just need to stop being so self conscious. Why? because a 29 year old mother of two and wife should be comfortable in her own skin.
Day 30-A letter to yourself in which you tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself:
Dear Christina,
This is going to be hard for you to hear because you don't take compliments well AT ALL! You've always been self conscious but people love you. How many people have said, "You are so sweet!" "Your smile lights up a room and just makes me happy!" I wish you would realize how nice you are and how much people appreciate the GENUINE person you are :) You are a GREAT mother (although your patience level could use some work! ;) and a pretty good wife (although that could use some work too! ;) Remember, no matter what, you have a heart of gold. Stay strong, stay positive and continue to be your happy self! :)
Love,
Your Self ;)
Fun Fridays
A fun link up that I came across this morning is "Fun Fridays" over at Jen's. Link up and tell us some plans for the weekend.
My weekend is jammed pack with fun! ;) Tomorrow morning my mom, sis, Aunt, and cousin our going to Lancaster, PA to see "Beauty and the Beast." We try to go see a play/show every year. And this year we decided to go see "Beauty and the Beast." I'm super excited! Then I'll get home, spend some time with the kiddos, and then it's date night for hubby and I. We are going to see MercyMe in concert. For those of yo that might not know, MercyMe is a Christian group, and they are AWESOME!!! I'm sort of sad for all the fun that tomorrow has in store for me. Sad? Why you may ask? (or maybe you didn't! ;) but I'm sad because this will be the longest weekend day away from my kiddos. But I have to keep telling myself, "It's okay! Mommies deserve time away. They will be fine!!!!" :)
Then Sunday is the usual...church and teaching Sunday School. Then we are headed over to Buscia's (hubby's grandmother) for brunch.
So, what are you up to this weekend?
Link up! :)
My weekend is jammed pack with fun! ;) Tomorrow morning my mom, sis, Aunt, and cousin our going to Lancaster, PA to see "Beauty and the Beast." We try to go see a play/show every year. And this year we decided to go see "Beauty and the Beast." I'm super excited! Then I'll get home, spend some time with the kiddos, and then it's date night for hubby and I. We are going to see MercyMe in concert. For those of yo that might not know, MercyMe is a Christian group, and they are AWESOME!!! I'm sort of sad for all the fun that tomorrow has in store for me. Sad? Why you may ask? (or maybe you didn't! ;) but I'm sad because this will be the longest weekend day away from my kiddos. But I have to keep telling myself, "It's okay! Mommies deserve time away. They will be fine!!!!" :)
Then Sunday is the usual...church and teaching Sunday School. Then we are headed over to Buscia's (hubby's grandmother) for brunch.
So, what are you up to this weekend?
Link up! :)
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