Although I'm not proud of it, I tend to be pretty high strung, perhaps a bit neurotic, and always worrying about what's next, what else do I have to do, etc. etc. etc. Patience is not a strong suit of mine, and sometimes I feel on the verge of exploding over the teeniest things. Again, not proud, just speaking the truth!!!! :( On any given night you can catch me making dinner, making lunches, helping Manuel with his summer workbook, trying to entertain Mia (all while Manny is helping with something equally as important in the household OR working overtime!) and a trillion other things, all at the same time. This is not to toot my own horn or say I'm any different then ANY other Mommy out there, but I've caught myself just being there because I was trying to do SO much at once, instead of being "in" the moment, paying attention to what I'm doing, focusing on the words coming out of my mouth, and really just putting forth effort (yes, even in something as simple as much lunches for the next day). It's a complete downfall of mine, and when I stop and think about it, it truly makes me sad! :( Well, the other day I was reading a blog and this mother was writing about how a friend of hers had recently lost her young son, and of course her heart was broken, and of course she was beside herself with pain, but she had no regrets. Read those words again, SHE HAD NO REGRETS! When her son wanted something, she was there. She left the dishes, let the clothes pile up, etc. if it meant spending time with her son. I'll be the first to admit, I NEVER do that! I'm always saying, "Mia, let Mommy finish these dishes, than we can snuggle and read." "Manuel, give Mommy a few minutes so I can fold the laundry." You get the idea! I don't think that makes me a bad Mommy, I think it just makes me a real, genuine, flawed individual. There is NO doubt that I love my children more than words, but sometimes my thoughts and heart don't always match my actions. And goodness forbid it would be God's will that one of my children be called home, would I EVER want my last moment with either of them spent doing laundry?!?!?!? NO WAY!!!!!! So my desire is to be more intentional with my interactions with my children (and Manny too!) I want to stop going through the motions, but make each motion having meaning. I want to remember that it's not always about being clean, tidy, and keeping it together, but sometimes you just have to have fun!
Yesterday the kids and I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things and on our way out, we were almost to the car and it started to POUR (I mean torrential downpour, but no thunder or lightening, just a good ol' fashioned summer rain storm!) As we pulled up out front of our house (we have to walk down a long sidewalk to get to our townhouse) I thought, "Gotta get the umbrella" and then it hit me...it's SO warm outside, there are no dangers (thunder, lightening, hail, etc.), WE DON'T NEED AN UMBRELLA! Let the kids run, get soaked, and have fun. Manuel ran, laughing the entire way. Mia wanted me to carry her, but the smile on her face and the laughs coming out of her belly as I ran (with her on my hip) is not something I will never forget! Then, completely out of character for me, we walked inside and Mia said, "I want to do it again!" And I let the kids run back and forth, up and down the sidewalk, getting completely drenched. I know this sounds SO silly, but this was HUGE for me! I would never normally do this but I thought about that mom, and her young son, and how she used all of her opportunities to live life, and not just go through the motions each day.
Remember friends, in life, you don't always need an umbrella! ;)
I didn't get any pictures of Manuel because he was already inside, drying off by the time I got my phone out, but here are two that I snapped of Mia with my cell phone
