Wh-wh-wh-what would you do? (I'm singing the song in my head right now). PLEASE tell me you know what I'm talking about and you've seen the
show? Okay, maybe not! :)
But either way, on to a "serious" post and I'd love to hear your thoughts/ideas/comments...
Situation #1:
Manuel started summer camp on Monday. Okay, first a little background info...This camp is being help at his preschool. Months back when summer camp was first being talked about, EVERYONE (of course), in his class was going. Manny and I talked about it, and although it would be a tad more expensive each week and an upfront chunk of money for all the field trips, it would be fun for Manuel, it would give him a fun summer before the "real world" starts (aka Kindergarten! ;)) So we signed him up for it, paid for it, and as the months passed and summer camp got closer, guess what..."EVERYONE" had turned into TWO boys from his class (and they'd only be there part time because their moms work in the school system and are off for the summer)! UGH! I knew this was going to happen. That means that my sweet boy, not even 5 1/2 years old, would be spending his summer with children (mostly boys!) as old as 5th grade! (they do NO separation in this camp. ALL the children are together all day!) We asked Manuel if he still wanted to go and he said, "YES!" We made it clear to him that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't be mad if he changed his mind. It would be okay. And yet he still insisted upon going. (Yay to my little man for not caring that he wouldn't know anyone, that he wouldn't have any "friends" there, etc. I can say, with certainty that as his age, I would have NEVER done that! So yes, we are very proud of him!) Manuel is a very awesome little boy...he is sensitive, caring, really has a knack for people and their feelings (especially when it comes to his little sister which I LOVE! :)) and is also rough, tough, all boy, but of course the "sensitive" part opens him up for hurt feelings, tears, and not really the ability to let things roll his off his back as easily as others.
So back to the part where summer camp began....Manny typically picks Manuel up from school but on Monday I did because Manny was working a side job. When I picked him up he seemed fine, no tear stained eyes, no grumpy look on his face, etc. so I had assumed camp went well. So I asked how things went and his little eyes welled up with tears and he told me about the mean kid who told him, "You suck! You have boogers in your nose." (okay, so maybe he did have a booger in his nose, HE'S FIVE!
At least he wasn't picking it!) Then he said, "I asked them (I'm assuming this "them" he refers to is a group of older boys) if I could play hide and seek with them and they said, "No! You're not a school ager" I started to cry (yes, I know, I shouldn't have in front of him, but this was my first experience with teasing and bullying!) I told him that Manny and I would not sit by and let him spend his summer being treated badly. We asked him if he wanted to get out of summer camp and go back to his other class. He said, "NO!" So that night we prayed about it, we prayed that the other children would be kind to him, and if they couldn't be kind, just not say anything to him at all." Manny and I made a decision to let the week play out and see how things went and if they did not get better we would take him, even if it's not what he wanted. I'm not setting him up to be bullied all summer, regardless of how much he wants to go on field trips, swim, etc. AND again, we were so proud that he did not let these kids get to him, and he still wanted to go back! :) Okay, so I'm not going to babble through each, but each day it has progressively gotten better. He's made a new friend or two, BUT there is still at least one incident/day that upsets him. So, my question for you is this...do we just chalk that up to normal "child's play" and let him continue to go? Or do we intervene, explain to him the unfortunate-ness (not a word, I know! :)) of what is happening, and we'd prefer he went back with his peers (all 5-ish years old) and take him out of camp? I can appreciate his perseverance and desire to go back each day, BUT at the same time, he's my baby and I hate knowing that these boys are being mean to him. Without getting into specific detail I did ask one of the staff yesterday (who knows Manuel from the school year) how he was adjusting because of being the youngest, etc. and she said great. Thoughts/ideas/advice? I know this is JUST the beginning and kids get teased, left out, and so forth BUT when it's YOUR child, it's a whole different ball game! Oh, and I also realize that I'm sure there have been situations when Manuel was the one being mean to another child (he's not perfect by ANY stretch!) but these boys are older. Shouldn't they know better? Who raises these sort of means boy!??!?! :( It makes my heart sad!
Situation #2
I was in a wedding at the beginning of the month, of a "good" (not so much anymore) friend. I had spent hundreds of dollars on various wedding activities over the months prior to the wedding (something I realize I agreed to spend when I was asked to be a bridesmaids and accepted) but hundreds, nonetheless. So the day of the wedding arrived and my husband and I realized that it was not in our budget to give a wedding gift that day (we have our family vacation next month that had to be completely paid for (the condo) by the 11th. Her wedding and it's expenses had come before many family things for the previous months) I have been in 7 or so weddings in my life, and attended many more, and I've come to know that proper etiquette is that you have up to one year to give a wedding gift. (NOT that we were going to wait that long to give a gift, but we just needed some extra time). Okay, moving on...the wedding comes, we have a blast, we head home (because I was SO sick with bronchitis), they leave for their honeymoon the next day and all is well. They returned from their honeymoon on Saturday. Sunday afternoon when I get out of church, I have a text message from my friend saying that she and her husband were going through their wedding gifts and realized that we hadn't gotten them anything and she wasn't sure why or what happened. UMMMMMMMMMMM, excuse me!?!??!?!? Did you REALLY just text me asking me where your wedding gift was!??!?! I shocked and disgusted. Honestly, I thought it was SO classless! Manny and I got married in the courthouse, so I never had an "official" wedding, so I thought perhaps I was overreacting. In my fit of rage ;) I called several people I knew who all had "real" weddings to ask their take on the text message and EVERY.SINGLE. PERSON thought it was out of line, classless and just plain rude. I text her back, explaining the situation, very short and to the point (with attitude via text, I'm sure). She text me back telling me she wasn't trying to be rude, etc. And I did not respond nor have I spoken to her since then. (I'm not a phone talker (I despise talking on the phone) so it's not weird that we haven't talked, but normally we would e-mail and I can't e-mail her. I'm furious! She's e-mailed me, as if NOTHING happened (asking me to put her wedding pictures that I took on a CD for her!), and again, I just can't respond! She knows our financial situation (not that we are poor, but our money tree isn't blooming this season! :)) and again, I just think it was SO rude what she did. Regardless of the reason why you did not receive a gift, would you EVER text someone (wedding, birthday, shower, I don't care what event) and ask where you gift is?!??!?!?! Please tell me someone out there agrees with me! :) Your thoughts? :)
And for good measure...
My Aunt and Uncle bought Manuel and Spencer (my nephew) matching outfits so of course, we HAD to get a pic! :) Spencers outfit is a TAD big ;) but still, they are SO adorable! :)
They also bought Mia and Vivienne matching outfits! :) I typically don't "do" character clothing (just a personal choice! NOTHING against those of you that do! :) but I would NEVER tell someone who gave us a gift that, of course! :) I have class! ;)