Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out: Why?

Link up with Shell and Pour Your Heart Out...

*DISCLAIMER: This is going to get pretty "deep" so feel free to skip this and return tomorrow when I'm back to posting pictures of the kids! :)*

Last Sunday's sermon was about why God allows bad things to happen to good people. As always, Dr. Hall, our Senior Pastor, did a wonderful job of delivering the message, straight from the Bible.And I get it, I really do, but still, if I'm being honest, it's SO difficult to understand. (I know, that was a total contradiction, but just follow me  :)) Actually, I guess it's really easy to understand if you believe in God, but still, sometimes my heart, my mind, my soul, cries out, "Why??????"

I had mentioend yesterday that I have a very sensitive heart when it comes to my children, and I do, but I also have a very sensitive heart when it comes to total strangers. Those of you out there struggling, who's blogs I've come across, I'm praying for you. I am! Those parents struggling with sick children, I read your stories and I picture myself in your shoes. Although I can't understand the depths of your pain, I try to imagine a millimeter of it, and my heart breaks. Those of you out there struggling with a child who has died. I read your stories and just cry. I keep thinking, "Why? How? I just don't get it!" And I don't. We won't ever have answers this side of Heaven and I know that. But day after day in this blogging world you come across SO many stories of heartache, tragedy, and sadness, and you can't help but think, "WHY???????"

I pray, and I know that might be all that I can do for some of these families. I hope it's enough. I hope they know that total strangers are praying for them, and that it eases their load if only for a moment. Yes, I know, there are plenty of happy, "fun" blogs too, and I read those too :), but my heart and mind is always drawn to those who are suffering (perhaps thats why I've always wanted to go into the Mental Health and Human Services field). I read so many blogs about pregnancy and infant loss (I am drawn to them because of my nephews) and I can't help but think, "Why would God "allows" a woman to carry a baby full term only for it to pass away during birth?" "Why would a woman be "allowed" to get pregnant after struggling for years with infertility only to lose the babies 24 weeks into her pregnancy?" And really, the list of "Whys?" goes on and on.

This has just really been weighing on my heart this week. I read about it every day, and pray about it everyday. But for some reason this week seems to be sadness overload... I've come across this totally unimaginable, heartbreaking story, and then read about the heartbreak that this family has yet again experienced (more sadness then 100 families combined should ever have to go through) and this amazing mommy who lost her husband while pregnant with their third child and the blogs of failed adoptions I read about from the grieving adoptive families. Then there is sweet Lucy and Kate who everyone in blogland is praying for. And sweet Alexis is from my area and shared the same birthday as Manuel (same day and year) who passed away from a brain tumor, DIPG. And the list, sadly, could go on and on. But I think you get my point. When you come across these blogs, pray for these people. It's the least we can do. When the "big name bloggers" ask for prayers for various families, and you visit them and comment, "I'm praying!" Make sure you do. Again, it's the least we can do. I'm sure you would want others to do that for your family if that was YOU going through something life changing.

I think that part of the reason why these stories touch my soul SO much (more then just say your average person who comes across a sad story)...I'm a mommy, I'm a wife, I'm a sister, I'm a daughter, and I try to imagine myself in these people shoes. And when you do that, you can't help but be touched by these stories. What if that were Mia? What if that were Manuel? What if that were Manny? UGHHHHH!

I just don't get it sometimes...


Diane said...

I've often asked this question myself as I was widowed when my boys were 4 yrs old and 5 months old so I know what it is like to have your world crash down around you. I have come to the belief that some things we will not fully (or at all) understand until we get to heaven.
I, too, I am overwhelmed when I read sad stories and sometimes find myself crying for people I don't even know so like you, I pray. Sometimes that is the best thing we can do for someone.
Found you from Shell's. New follower.

Shell said...

I question. A lot. B/c here is what I know: our God is an all-powerful one. So, if He wanted to, he could change things. He could make a sick child well or allow a parent to live long enough to see their children grow.

While I realize that He isn't the one causing these awful things to happen, I get mad when He doesn't perform the miracles that I know He can.

And now I'm crying.

Not Just Another Jennifer said...

Amen! I know that I should have faith that it's part of God's plan, and I know I won't really understand until I meet Him, but it's very hard not to ask why. Great post!