Okay, first things first...I'm an IDIOT! My double root canal was NOT this morning. I walked in to the dentist office and as soon as I went to sign in, and noticed that my dentists name was not on the sign in sheet for the day, I knew I had made a mistake. Sure enough I did. It's TOMORROW morning at 9am. UGH! Oh well, that's life. I'm slightly preoccupied, so it makes sense that I wasn't using my brain...
Layoffs are coming at my office and they are coming in full force. I work as a Pricing Analyst at a mortgage company. It's no secret that the mortgage industry has many highs and many lows. We are in a "low" time (as it always is after Christmas, before Spring) and that means it's time to let people go. Last year I was safe because I was on maternity leave. This year, I'm not so lucky. I am scared to death (That would be an understatement) and I just have to put it all in God's hands. The thing is that I'm not worried about how we will pay our bills, how will we put food on our table, etc. if I lose my job because God ALWAYS provides, but I'm just scared about starting over. Scared about having to start looking...here's the thing, I went to college but dropped out before getting a degree. I can promise you this, NO WHERE is going to pay me what I make at my current job, starting out. Plain and simple, it's not going to happen. No other job is going to give me the flexibility my current job offers such as working from home if the kids are sick, bringing Manuel to work if an issue arises, coming in late so I can be the one to take the kids to all their appointments (as long as I get my 40 hours in each week), etc. I'm scared. No way around it! One of my co-workers/friends (who's daughter goes to Linnie's (the lady who watches Mia), was laid off yesterday. She's a single mother of 4 children! (say a prayer for her please). It's starting and there's nothing to say that I won't be next. I've been here 4.5 years, but the girl I work with (who does the same exact thing I do, who's only been here 1.5 years) is single, no children, etc. She is MUCH more flexible with things then I am. That's an automatic "pro" to her and "con" to me! :( I'll keep everyone posted.
Sorry to be "Debbie Downer" but sometimes life just has a way of smacking you in the face when things are going SO well (as they have been). But again, I have to give it to God. God is good all the time, all the time God is good. I have to remember to praise him in the happiness and praise him in the storms. I need to remind myself of this! It's SO easy to say when you AREN'T going through trying times, it's much harder to say and BELIEVE when you are struggling. But I'm trying! :)
Have a great day everyone! :)